boobies

I think my new answer to the breastfeeding question will be that I smoke too much crack. Honestly I’ve had the question while on the reference desk from total strangers! People amaze me, what if I were unable to breastfeed? Here you are feeling like you are incompetent, and yes, no matter how liberated a woman is, it is remarkably easy to feel like a mommy imposter if you didn’t have a “natural” childbirth or breastfeed until the child is ten. Natural? What is natural about having a baby in a hospital anyway? I can be flippant here, but in my more honest moments I do feel like I failed in some way regarding the delivery and continue to fail by feeding little man formula. Reading over relactation info, I really can’t see me being able to do it, and the pump? I would become a vile b#$# instantly. I tried the dietary modification when Gordie had a reaction, it lasted about a week. For one thing I couldn’t stand to mess with my baby’s system while I experimented, for another I chose to be a happier mommy with some time to myself, rather than feeling like a cow hooked up to a machine. I loved breastfeeding my baby, the feeling of closeness and nurturing-inexplicable, and I wish I had the luxury of being able to do it longer. But I couldn’t. So no, I’m not breastfeeding, and kiss my ass.